Monday, September 26, 2005
I'll still love You.One day, which I hope soon, I will share about how I overcame the fluctuations of emotions during strawberry season.
Perhaps I'll take up horse riding lesson when I'm older, it is really fun to sit up there and to talk to the horse while you're riding on him/her. Ever since I took home my cats, my heart goes out to animals. Except for some, like SNAKES. I rode on Rocket today, a horse which is 30years old now. As I was riding, I was drawn to the simplicity of the surrounding - green pasture with horses grazing the grass. And it dawn upon me that I may like to live in a farm next time, leading a simple life, feeding animals everyday.
I have a lot to rant about Malaysia, but I've decided to conclude it by giving thanks to God. I am thankful that I live in Singapore - with fresh air, water flowing out of tap properly, strict traffic rules that keep us safe and things that function properly. I am also very thankful that I returned back safe and sound - no injuries from horse riding or any lost like being robbed or knocked down by car. Anyway, I believe the only thing I did today that I really enjoyed was the time spent at arcade. Kaihui, Lengy and I played a machine that left our hands to be painful after all the hitting. I feel so safe to play because the guys were behind us, watching, laughing and helping us to change MORE tokens(!!!). And I enjoyed the two rounds of racing cars with them.
While waiting for bus back to Singapore at the custom, I called Brother. Somethings he said evoked my emotions and I replied rudely. Now, I regret the tone and the way I felt at that time. RAHH. Woe is to me who allowed emotions to take over me. ): What's more, he is worried about me now. I'll apologize to him later when I settle down.
As I was walking home, I realized that stress has also creeped into me. In the midst of battling with emotions, I am learning to rely and trust in God and myself for studies and to balance my life. I was blasting Sun Yan Zi's songs while I was bathing, and I switched it to worship songs after I came out. I've decided to emo with worship songs than secular songs. I don't want to relate my feelings with the world outside, but I want to learn lifting my emotions to Him and praise Him evermore.
Still, I would say that Life is beautiful. One unhappy day, incident or a person shall never justify that life is worst, for anybody. While shopping today, I thought of someone which I had wanted to spend more time talking to. I felt guilty for leaving her shopped with the others. Different people produces a different result, enjoyment/memories in this case, if you understand.
I hope someone will bring me to the Moon and lend me shoulder to cry on when I'm emotional, then speak biblical sense after my cries. I've yet to be independent totally.
After being emotional for almost the entire day, I still love Jesus.
maoed.]
at 7:56 PM
